My Journey Through Anxiety, Depression, and Self-Discovery

Growing up I faced many challenges with my mental health. For as long as I can remember I struggled with anxiety which affected many aspects of my life. On top of battling anxiety during my childhood, at age 15 I started to suffer from depression as well. I went many years feeling helpless, like I didn’t belong because no one around me was suffering the way I was. I hid how I was really feeling during all of those years until I couldn’t take it anymore and opened up to my mom about the terrifying suicidal thoughts I was having. I was riddled with anxiety and none of my medications seemed to be working. I was in therapy multiple days a week. I ended up leaving nursing school my third semester which was extremely difficult for me to do. It felt like nothing was worth feeling this anxious and sad all the time for. Doing any sort of task independently felt almost impossible for me to do because of my crippling anxiety and depression. I was lucky enough to have family around me that wanted me to get better, so eventually I decided to seek further help and attended an outpatient program to help get my anxiety, depression, and to get my medications under control. I was in that program for about a month and came out a little bit stronger than when I started, which felt good, but there was much more work to be done. Today, 18 months after I sought out treatment and worked on myself full time, I can finally say that for the first time in my life at 21 years old I am finally truly happy with how I feel mentally. It was a long road to get here and I lost friends along the way, but after many hours of therapy, countless trials with different medications, and unconditional support from family, I am in a place where I understand how important self care truly is. It is probably the best thing I do for myself. I started journaling and reading, I limit social media use, and continue with weekly therapy, take yoga classes, and I listen to motivational videos. Facing challenges with mental health the way I did really opened my eyes to who my true friends are. There was a lot of heartbreak, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and I allow myself to remain positive and learn and grow from everything I go through in my life. I faced a major bump in the road, but I have since learned the importance of being positive and not looking at the past in a negative way, but to look back and understand what every event was trying to teach me so that I can learn and grow and create a better future for myself. I am back in nursing school and I am grateful for the support I have to be able to start a new chapter in my life. It does get better, you just have to be patient.

Jayci Longin